|By Pastor Enoch Adeboye|
|Memorise: “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy” (Jas 3:17)
Read: James 3:17-18
|When God guides you regarding His choice in marriage, even if you could not recognize your partner at first sight, He will use other ways to get you to know the fellow. He can speak to you through the inner voice or witness (1 Kings 19:12). If you are too noisy or too busy to listen inwards, you may not hear this voice. He can also use the audible voice (1 Sam 3:4-7). This voice is loud enough to arrest your attention, or get you thinking somebody was around the corner talking to you. God can also use dreams and visions.
Ensure you subject whatever you hear or see to the written Word of God. If it goes contrary to the Bible, then there is no light in it (Isaiah 8:20). God cannot contradict His Word.
Another way God guides is through the peace test (Jas 3:17). If you think of taking the person in question as your wife or husband, how do you feel deep inside you? If you feel disturbed, then it’s most likely the wrong choice. But if you feel an inner peace concerning the fellow, he or she might just be the right partner.
One most reliable way God can lead you to your partner is by giving you specific scriptures, or using scriptures to answer you. While praying on the issue, a verse or two could drop in your spirit. Write them down and check them up to know what they are saying.
Each of these ways could be manipulated by Satan, hence you must judge them by the Bible and prayer. Another way God guides is by using others to confirm what He has already told you. In this way, He can use different people – known and unknown to confirm the choice. When several unrelated people are saying the same thing, God could be behind the message.
In addition, He can use children, whole families or prayer partners to confirm the fellow. Usually, these people will only be confirming what God has already told you. Similarly, never allow anybody to decide for you. God can also guide you through a word of prophecy. How sensitive are you to God’s leading? As you submit to Him today, He will lead you to your rightful partner in Jesus’ Name. If you desire God’s will, you will surely get it. Pray for it.
|Ask God to liberate homosexuals and lesbians from spiritual bondage so that they can embrace His salvation.|
There is hardly any marriage that does not have associated issues with mother and father in laws from both partners, but we need the wisdom of God and Christian heart to handle this. Genesis 2 vs 24, is one of the several biblical verses that should guide couples on how to handle in laws relationship
The key points from this passage are:
- They man (and the woman) should be physically separated from his/her parents. If you marry and you still work in your fathers business (unless he has substantially handed it over to you), and you still reside in your parents’ house, then you are not yet separated from them. Once you marry, inherited businesses should be completely handed over to you, your parents should not be your Boss or employer, be your own Boss or start your own business.
- To some extent, the man (and the woman) should be emotionally separated from your parents. Once you marry, your partner- wife or husband comes first before your parents. If you love your parents more than your spouse, or you put your parents first, above your spouse and immediate family, then there is a problem.
- The Bible says, you must leave your parents, and cleave to your wife. So think more of your wife more than your parents. Love your wife more than your parents. Don’t take instructions from your parents, take instructions from your husband or wife. Your parents should only advise you, not dictate to you how you should run your family.
- Your parents are in a separate family, once you marry you have also started your own family.
- Lastly, the bible says the couple shall become one flesh in thoughts, planning, decisions, etc. As such both couples should work towards togetherness, mutual understanding, and unity of purpose
My father and my God, give me a good husband or wife in Jesus name
I shall not marry my enemy in Jesus name
Fire of God, repair my marriage in Jesus name
Babatope Babalobi + 2348035897435 firstname.lastname@example.org
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Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God- Ephesians 5 vs 21
Today is my 19th year wedding anniversary, and on retrospect, I give thanks to God for giving me a happy home and a successful marital life, a lovely wife- Bukola Babalobi and godly children. This was my wish on August 3, 1996; and I have no regrets but joy in taking the marital vows, almost two decades ago.Thank God my marriage is working.
What makes a marriage work? I have made a compilation of tips for successful marriage based on my 19years experience; hoping this will benefit aspiring and younger couples.
1. The fear of God to me is the first and most important factor that contributes to a successful marriage. Both couples, particularly the husband should have the fear of God; which implies both couples should be born again Christians. In my counsel to younger people, I have always said marriages often run into crisis when either or both partners do not have the fear of God. I have always advised believers against marrying anyone who does not believe in the God you believe in, as both of you should drink from the same fountain.
It is the fear of God that leads the husband to love his wife; to be a responsible husband and father; it is the fear of God that prevents the man from extra marital affairs; it is the fear of God that keeps him in the house to work out the success of his marriage; it’s the fear of God that makes him to understand the sanctity of marriage and the need to keeps its covenant.
By the grace of God, I can openly boost of not knowing any other woman or not indulging in a single extra marital affair for the 19 years, in spite of my often long travels from my home. What has kept me in check is simply the fear of God that restrains me from indulging in sexual sin, not only against my wife, against my body, as well against my God.
On the part of the wife, it’s also the fear of God that keeps her in check; submitting to the husband as extolled by the scriptures; and avoiding acts that could risk the success of the marriage.
2. The second important factor for a successful marriage is the role of the Church. If both couples are Christians and associate with the body of Christ, the chances of marital crises are lower. The Church plays a moulding and balancing role in the lives of Christians. I regard the church as the most influential institution for Christian homes.
Marriage itself is instituted by God, and the church represents His body on earth. So what a good church does through its messages is to develop the character of the couples; and as they grow and develop in the Christian faith, the works of the flesh (anger, lying, pride, arrogance, greed, selfishness, sins etc) that often causes quarrels at homes gradually disappears. My wife spends a substantial part of her daily life in church related activities. Occasionally I complain, but I am also quick to realise that this keeps her in good godly company, away from negative peer pressure, gossips, and bad company.
3. The third important factor for me is Openness and Transparency. There should be no secrets between couples, knowing fully well both of you are one flesh. Evil thrives under secrecy. Secrecy breeds suspicions. By the grace of God, my wife and I both try to be as open as possible. My wife knows my salary, even all my children know my monthly salary, as I believe there is nothing to hide; and I spend it on things mutually agreed.
Every month, I sit down with her to do a budget, even before the salary hits the account. At the early years of the marriage, specifically in the 1990s, when she was the only person working, and on a monthly salary of Two thousand naira (N2000), she normally handed over the remaining N1800 to me to spend, after removing the tithe. My wife and I are joint signatories to all my accounts- personal and corporate. She knows the Pins of my ATMS, and I know hers.
An incident happened a couple of years ago, I traveled outside Nigeria. And as it is my normal practice, I handed over my phones to her as I did not want to miss my local calls. One of her colleagues at work was shocked, because her husband would never allow her to read his text messages or pick his calls even when he is at home. But this was a case of a man who handed his phones to the wife and traveled abroad.
Of course, if I have affairs, I would not allow my wife free access to my calls and messages. I make it a practice to disclose all my relationships to my wife including the few female colleagues I am close with in or out of work. Openness instills trust and strengthens the bond. Anything you can not disclose to your wife is evil.
4. The fourth factor is self-will and determination on the part of the couple to make the marriage work. God has given us the power of self will, the freedom to choose between right and wrong. You have to choose to be a faithful husband,a responsible father and deliberately work towards achieving this.
If you don’t want to become a polygamist, then you have to stick to one wife. I choose to make my marriage work in spite of all challenges and weaknesses, and thank God it is working. When I visited United States for the first time in many years ago, I faced pressure from a close relation to stay back and elope with an arranged ‘wife’ in California to facilitate the legalization of a stay in US. But I choose to respect the sanctity of marriage and returned back to Nigeria with its harsher economic realities. No one commits sin unintentionally, and the quality of our lives is the outcome of the decisions we have taken in the past.
5. Of course there are several other factors which time and space will not permit me to mention, the role of intense prayers and fasting, spiritual warfare and deliverance, the word of God, finance, extended family, faithfulness to God, etc
It has also not been a bed of roses. The first decade was particularly trying, but the grace of God was sufficient to overcome challenges.
6. I look at the future with greater confidence, believing my marriage like the path of the righteous shall be brighter and filled with more testimonies in Jesus name. At a time forces of darkness have unleashed attacks on Christian homes, my prayer is that our homes shall remain aglow radiating Gods love, faithfulness, grace, favour, deliverance, and mercy in Jesus name.
|Memorise: “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” (1 Pet 3:7)
Read: Matthew 1:18-25
|In Matthew 1:18-20, Joseph who was betrothed to Mary and knew that he had never had carnal knowledge of her, paid her a visit and found her manifesting signs of pregnancy. He was shocked. How could Mary – his heart throb go and sleep with another man while they were in courtship? It was a big blow.According to the provisions of the Law of Moses recorded in Deuteronomy 22:23-24, she was supposed to be publicly disgraced and face the death penalty. But as hurt as he was, he was still protective. He did not want to take her through all that. He wanted to disengage quietly so that nobody would know he was not responsible for the pregnancy. One lesson here is that we should prayerfully think through crucial decisions. He did not rush. He took time to think out the best way of handling the situation. When your spouse has caused you shame, how do you respond? Would you disgrace her publicly so that she can learn the hard way?
Joseph was very protective of Mary even after he thought she was unfaithful to him. How protective are you over your wife? Do you absorb her weaknesses or you amplify them? In what ways have you tried to assist her in her weak areas? Or have you been using threats, complaints, beatings or intimidations on her?
Another lesson we can learn from Mary and Joseph in Matthew 1:18-25 is how God guides. Mary and Joseph both encountered angels. Mary was told of an unprecedented virgin conception and birth of the Saviour of the world. Joseph was given the name of the product of that conception. Who said God cannot guide a man and a woman on an issue such as marriage?
Are you single? If you seek God’s face in marriage, He will lead you to His choice. And vice versa. God can only guide you if you completely surrender to His leading. As long as you wish to have your way, He will hold back His choice. Even as a married couple, you can be led by God on the same issue. To what extent do you and your spouse yield to God’s guidance? Joseph was very pliable in God’s hands. He planned to leave Mary after he found her pregnant but immediately the angel gave him the true picture, he dropped his negative plan. How easy is it for God to correct you?
|Being hurt is no excuse for meanness, but enough reason to return to God for healing. Ask God to heal your hurts.
Spirit husbands and wives are responsible for various marital crises including explainable delays in getting married, marital disappointments, marital failures, bareness, failed pregnancy, divorces, and marital breakdowns.
How do we exercise our divine powers to deal with these evil spirits and overcome their afflictions? Listen to this audio sermon: Deliverance prayer points to overcome spirit husbands and spirit wives
Babatope Babalobi email@example.com +2348035897435
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Ecclesiastes 3 vs. 2-3
To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born…
There is a time to get married
You are supposed to get married at a certain point in your life. The institution of marriage was ordained by God. One of the things you should achieve in your lifetime is marrying someone you love and bringing up Godly offspring through the process. Your wedding day should be one of the most notable, happiest, and important days in your life.
They Bible say there is a time for everything; therefore there is a time you should get married. How do you know the best time to get married? Several factors will help you to decide when to get married.
Wisdom dictates that you should finish your studies or career course before getting married. Marriage may disturb your educational plans because you can no longer take decisions on your life without consulting your partner. Therefore it is best to complete the minimum educational level required for you to earn a decent living before you get married.
One of the fruits of marriage is child bearing. So are you physically and emotionally ready to give birth to children and train them up? This supposes that if you are 18 years old and below under guidance, it is not the right time to get married. Marriage is not for teenagers.
Marriage involves some financial commitments- housing, transport, feeding, child care and extended family. Either of you should have a ready and guaranteed source of financing before you get married.
Marriage involves some planning, you have to plan for your new home as you cannot to squat as couples, you have to plan for your wedding day, you have to get your marriage plans approved by your parents, and you have to plan to inform your close relatives and friends. Devote enough time for this. Don’t rush into marriage.
You should be able to win the heart of someone you love before you can start talking of marriage. Marriage is a two sided love. You should love someone, and the person must also love you.
Another important factor is the readiness of both parties to get married. If either of the party is not willing to get married now, then the relationship is heading for the rocks.
Once the conditions are right for you to get married, seek the face of God. He created the institution of marriage and wishes to see you get married. But don’t keep God out of your plans. The Bible says our plans will succeed once we commit them to God.
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“For I know the plans I have for you, to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you an expected end” – Jeremiah 29vs.11 NIV Living Bible
When are you getting married? God wants you to get married. He instituted the marriage. If for any reason you are finding it difficult getting married, then surely this is not part of God’s plan for your life. God is thinking of your wedding day. He is looking forward to see you in that beautiful wedding dress.
Was is delaying your marriage? Are you finding it difficult getting a right partner? Here is a checklist of things you need to note to get a right partner.
(1 Cor 6:12, NIV).
“King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter – Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites”<strong> (1 Kings 11:1, NIV).
“Everything is permissible for me” – but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me” – but I will not be mastered by anything
“‘Everything is permissible’ – but not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything is permissible’ – but not everything is constructive” (1 Cor 10:23, NIV)
He was the richest king in his time. There was, and still is, no one as wise as this king. God favored him above all other kings. God had determined to establish his kingdom forever. However, because of what he loved, his kingdom crumbled.
That was king Solomon whom God endowed with greatness in wisdom, understanding and even wealth. Apart from the written Law of Moses that was guiding the people of Israel that he was leading, God appeared to him twice to warn him to keep these commands. Yet, Solomon loved foreign women and made them to turn his heart from his God.
Having many wives (especially foreign) for a king is not a new thing. It is a diplomatic way of establishing one’s kingdom. Nevertheless, it is not the God’s way. That way caused the fall of Solomon.
What do you also love most? The thing may be legitimate and permissible, but is it beneficial? Is it constructive? Is it God’s will for you? Would God be happy with that thing that you love most?
Be careful lest the thing you love becomes your master and turn you away from God.
Bayo Afolaranmi (Pastor).
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1 kings 11 vs. 1-3:
But the King Solomon loved many strange women…of the nations concerning which the Lord had said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in unto them…..and he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines, and his wives turned away his heart
There are many strange women in the Bible as the passages quoted above reveal, and the unfortunate thing is that these strange women caused the down fall of Kings and Princes.
Esau, lost the favour of his parents because he chooses to marry three strange women. Joseph would have lost his divine placement if he had failed to flee from a strange woman.
Samson was not that fortunate. He could tear a lion to pieces by the power of the spirit, but got kidnapped by his enemies. He was disgraced and suffered a humiliating death because he was entangled with a strange woman called Delilah. Read the rest of this entry »
2 Samuel 11: 2-5:
Then it happened one evening that David arose from his bed and walked on the roof of the King’s house. And from the roof he saw a woman bathing, and the woman was very beautiful to behold…then David sent messengers, and took her; and she came to him, and he lay with her…and the woman conceived
Who is a strange Woman?
A strange woman has the spirit of antichrist.
A strange woman is idolatrous, a goddess, and a heathen.
A strange woman is adulterous, a seducer, and sexual pervert.
A strange woman has idolatrous family background.
A strange woman has loose morals, she may look outwardly
beautiful, but her heart is full of seduction, her smiles are deceitful and her thoughts are wicked.
A strange woman is full of evil, greedy, a traitor and deadly.
A strange woman is full of deceit. She pretends to love her husband, but she is actually conspiring with his enemies for his destruction.
A strange woman is the enemy within, possessed with evil powers.
A strange woman may have a sweet name, but her kiss is poison.
A strange woman is the path to destruction.
Strange woman are enchanters who are unrelenting until they succeed in ensnaring their prey.
A strange woman is the alluring women we meet on the street, that end up displacing the legal wives within a short time.
A strange woman is a parasite, and once she sees nothing else to suck she takes off to look for another victim.
A strange woman is the daughter of Babylon, the emissary of Satan, and an ambassador for the destruction of men.
A strange woman is the path to hell.
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2 Samuel 11: 2-5:
Then it happened one evening that David arose from his bed and walked on the roof of the King’s house. And from the roof he saw a woman bathing, and the woman was very beautiful to behold…then David sent messengers, and took her; and she came to him, and he lay with her…and the woman conceived…”
Consequences of following strange women
Kings have been caged by her, many great men have been ensnared by her, Princes have become victims of her wanton destruction, and lowly placed men have their sorrows multiplied by her.
Strange women don’t have marital plans, but desire to deny the rightful wife the fruits of marriage. Some that have marital plans believe in what they can gain than what they can contribute to building the marriage.
Strange women are in our midst. They are all around us- in the working places, at social gatherings, and even in the Church. God ordained the institution of marriage to be a union of a male and a female.
Your wife should be your greatest confidant, friend and companion. Any other woman that takes this role away from your wife is a strange woman.
If you go a step further and become sexually involved with this woman, the strangeness becomes multiplied. At the worst if this woman becomes another ‘wife’, then you are treading on the path of destruction earlier followed by Esau, Samson, and Solomon.
What could have been David’s destruction was averted because he repented. May God deliver us from strange women.
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Five Destiny choices
- Choice of Profession
- Choice of Marriage
- Choice of Counsellor
- Choice of lifestyle
- Choice of commitment to service
Choice of Profession
Genesis 4 vs. 19-20: Lamech married two women. One wife was named Adah, and the other wife was named Zilllah. Adah gave birth to Jabal. Jabal was the father of people who lived in tents and earn their living by keeping cattle.
Genesis 25 vs. 27: The boys grew up, Esau became a skilled hunter. He loved to be out in the fields. But Jacob was a quiet man. He stayed in his tent.
- Esau choose to be a hunter, and Jacob was dwelling in the tents. Esau was always with animals, but Jacob was around people and listened to necessary instructions from men.
- A lot of people are doing the wrong jobs.
Choice of Marriage
Genesis 26 vs. 34-35: When Esau was 40 years old, he married two Hittite women. One was Judith the daughter of Beeri. The other was Basemath the daughter of Elon. These marriages made Isaac and Rebekah very upset.
- Esau choose the wrong profession and ended up in the wrong marriage. Esau married the enemies of God, the enemies of his destiny. He married from a cursed and rejected race.
Genesis 28 vs. 1: Isaac called Jacob and blessed him. Then Isaac gave him a command. Isaac said: “You must not marry a Canaanite woman.
Genesis 28 vs. 6-9: Esau learned that his father Isaac blessed Jacob. And Esau learned that Isaac sent Jacob away to Padan Aram to find a wife there. Esau learned that Isaac commanded Jacob not to marry a Canaanite woman. And Esau learned that Jacob obeyed his father and his mother and went to Paddan Aram.
Esau saw fromthis that his father did not want his sons to marry Canaanite woman. Esau already had two wives. But he went to Ishmael and married another woman. He married Mahalath, the daughter of Ishmael. Ishmael was Abraham’s son. Mahalath was Nebaioth’ sister.
- All the life of Esau was a revelation of negative choices- wrongprofession, wrong marriage, and these eventually became his doom.
1.For you to have a successful life, you must make the right choice.
2.You choice in life determines your estate and destiny in life.
3.Poverty only resides in the life of people who want it.
Every anointing of negative choice in my blood, die in the name of Jesus.
By the spirit of the living God, I terminate every appointment with sorrow.
This message was preached by Pastor Adeyokun at Mountain of Fire and Miracles Ministries, Ilesa, Osun State, Nigeria. October 28, 2007
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A recent US publication reveals that the rate of divorce in the US is growing at a geometric proportion. Two out of four marriages end in divorce: that stands at 50%. Marriage these days is tantamount to simply trying on a pair of pant to see if it fits, and if it doesn’t put it aside. Yet the consequences lingered and the adverse effects are seen in our society today. Rebellious, disjointed, and oppositional children are mostly product of homes with divorce parents. Juvenile delinquency is on the rise, and police have to combat with most evil crimes of our days borne out of children from dysfunctional homes.
Every power prolonging the day of my celebration, your time is up, die in Jesus name
Every foundational yoke that is hindering my marital breakthrough, break and die in the name of Jesus
Evil pattern of lateness in marriage, my life is not your candidate, break in the name of Jesus
Matthew 19:5 , ‘FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH ‘?
The first ‘gay marriage’ license has been issued in South America.
Mimicking a dreadfully familiar practice in the USA, two Argentine men sued the city of Buenos Aires for not marrying them; a renegade judge heard their case, overthrew the law of the land which defines marriage in Argentina as solely heterosexual, and granted them a marriage license. Read the rest of this entry »
It should be borne in mind that the institution of marriage was ordained by God right from time immemorial. After the creation of Adam, God deemed it necessary to provide him with a “help meet” by the name Eve.
In Genesis 2:18 “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” It was and has ever been the interest of God to see marriage couples live together in peace and love.
The basis of every Christian marriage should transcend beyond nothing but love. A marriage void of love between both spouses is bound to collapse at the slightest occurrence of life’s turbulent sea. The force of love remains the only cord that can bind both couples together till death do them apart. Read the rest of this entry »
Pastor E.A Adeboye
“Wherefore ye must needs be subject, not only for wrath, but also for conscience sake” (Rom. 13:5)
READ: Romans 13:1-5
Wives are commanded to submit to their husbands in all things (Eph 5:22-24).
Some wives find if difficult to submit to their husbands just because they are taller, richer, better placed, or more educated. Even if you were the president of a nation, God still expects that wife to submit to her husband in all things.
Submission is an act of faith. That means if you can submit to your husband in spite of contrary opinions and situations, it will be counted to you as righteousness. Similarly, the woman is expected to submit to her husband as if she was submitting to Christ (Eph. 5:22).
This means that it is not the man that the really submitting to, but the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. It also means the extent to which a wife can submit to her husband s the extent to which she can submit to Jesus Christ. A woman who cannot submit to her husband will not also submit to Jesus. Read the rest of this entry »
Memorize; and hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us (Rom. 5:5)
“ Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also love the church, and gave himself for it” (Eph. 5;25).
On fundamental command every married man must observe is to love his wife. If after you sought God and He led you to your wife, yet you observed that you do not have love for her, do not panic. Just ask!
If God is in that relationship, as you ask, you would be given and you would begin to grow in love towards your spouse.
Every Christian husband has the capacity to love. You are a love child of a living God, hence love has been spread in your heart by the Holy spirit (Rom.5:5). The summary of all that is expected from a man toward his wife is love.
Some husbands say that they find it difficult to love their wives. Loving your wife is not optional but a must. If you fail to love your wife, God will hold you responsible for the failure of your home.
Everyone loves himself or herself. The extent to which you love yourself becomes a yardstick for measuring your love for others. God says you must love your wife as yourself. Unfortunately, some people do not love themselves.
If you are a drunkard, smoker or drug addict, you hate your self. If you are a thief, fornicator, homosexual or lesbian, you hate yourself because you are destroying your body. Any man who does not love himself cannot love his wife. What you cannot do to your self should not be done too your spouse.
If you love your wife, it will show on her. You will identify a woman who is unloved by her husband from her dressing. If you show no concern for your wife’s dressing and you allow her to put on rags, be shabby or look haggard, it is evident that you do not love her.
If her body has any scar from slaps, punches or floggings on your account, it shows you do not love her. If she is looking skinny and starved of food, sex and companionship, you hate her. If your wife’s face is always gloomy, sad and depressed, it shows you do not love her.
If you love your wife, it will show on her, her health, countenance and appearance. Does your professed love for your wife reflect on her body?
Have you ever noticed that men and women sometimes seen to be speaking different language women tend to be verbal while men tend to be physical. Women want to talk about everything; men don’t always use words Even male-to-male, men often communicate through touch.
A pat on the back means: I like you.” A coach’s playful slap on a basketball player’s rump says, “Good job!”
Men and women need to learn each other’ method of communication. Whenever I feel affectionate, the first thing I want to do buy my wife a gift, she would go into orbit over cards! She keeps cards that are so old they’ve turned yellow. We spent the first few years of our marriage leaning each other’s language.
Instead of feeling neglected, ask your husband to share with you why he does what he does and says what he says. Or better still, observe his method of communication and teach him yours. Your spouse may think he’s telling you one thing when you’ve hearing another. He may wonder, “What more does she wants? I married her, didn’t i? I did this and that and the other for her.
You may be living in the Tower of Babel. That was the place where families were divided because they could not understand each other’s language. You’d better get busy and learn before frustration turns your house-hold into Babel, all progress ceased and confusion took over.
When you approach your husband, do not corner him. Catch him at a time when he won’t feel interrogated. You may be surprised that men tend to avoid open confrontation.
I have seen big. Burly, macho men intimidated by a hundred-pound woman. Even men who are physically abuse still have moments of anxiety when facing their wives. As the Bible says, “It is contentious woman” (Proverbs 25:24). Unless you are deliberately trying to drive him away, remember that you could win the argument and lose the man.
Faith calls those things that are as through they were (seen Romans 4:17). Everything you were going to do for him when changes, do it now and do it by faith. Then God will turn your Tower of Babel into a Pentecost.
At Pentecost, each person heard the message in his own language (see Acts 2:6). I pray that God would interpret the language love so that your marriage will be powerful and productive.
I challenge you as a woman to resist the temptation to live in a vacuum. If your broken past has left you suspicious of the male gender as a whole, remember that wholeness will enable you to love the imperfect. To expect to find an ideal man-one who can be trusted not to disappoint—is neither true nor realistic.
Nor is it true that if you demand such a man, that you yourself could live up to those standards. It is a trick the enemy uses to stop you from enjoying life. It is a lofty expectation that is fictitious and nonexistent. People do fail. Men fail. Women fail. Children fail. But thanks be to God, He does not fail!
His unfailing love, when graciously bestowed, will enable you to love the imperfect. He loves you in spite of what He knows about you. What a healing! What a lesson He teaches when He loves in spite of your failures and misalignments.
The real challenge is to receive His love and learn to become secure enough to emulate that love in your relationships. Without that, you will have tremendous standards but absolutely no companionship. The walls that you build to protect yourself will actually imprison you, and time will escape like sand tricking through an hourglass.
God enables you to experience a level of faith that makes you a joy to be with. He heals you until you have no need to live in a vacuum. He brings you to the point where you can be free from broken beginnings. If your beginnings were less than what you hoped, God heals. Even if you had no father image you grew up with was distorted or perverted, Christ makes it possible to redefine what it means to have a father.
He can assist you in your search to understand the masculine heart, to celebrate the unique differences that can enrich your life and your relationships.
If you have spent all your life promiscuity, have suffered from low self-esteem, or are so starved for male attention that you will accept it by the hour, the night, or the weekend, you need to know that a real relationship with God will heal the void.
Then, when you are ready to enter into a relationship with a man, it will be for the right reason and because of that insatiable thirsting for affirmation that causes your relationships to be destroyed. After all, don’t you want to be best you can be for him?
Lord, can there be revival in our marriage? How can something that started out so fresh now seem so stale? I am torn between all the wear. Our intimacy has lost its spontaneity and our love feels canned and uncreative. I need you to break through the veil of politeness that hides our hushed frustration.
Give me the grace to forgive the things that seem insensitive in my husband. Give me strength and creativity, patience and humility. Make my heart race with the passion and affection that once came so freely. Please, father teaches me how to be a good wife. Bind us together.
As I love him, I must realized that I will always love an imperfect person, and so will he. Maybe I am learning how you really love me as I reach out to this man who doesn’t always seem in touch with where I am. I see that you love me when I am out of touch with you.
Most of all, Lord, make me like you. Hover over us. Fashion me fro my husband and him for me. Breathe fresh like into our love and allow us to be friends again, to laugh and play again. I miss the way it’s used to be. Take us back, dear Lord. Take us back.
Than you for knowing what to do with our hearts. I believe there will be change because of you.
Source: T.D. Jakes